honda civics can suck it

What is UP with the Honda Civic? Seriously, what is so fucking special about it?

I have this irrational hatred for Honda Civics. Specifically, pimped-out customized Honda Civics. Isn’t the Civic just a shitty little standard sedan? Since when did the Civic get elevated to this mythic status of street sportscar?

This guy who goes to school with Sam and Jay has a teal Civic with yellow wheels and flame decals. And I’ve seen way too many high school aged guys with these ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS pimped-out little Civics. I see them all over town. Now I’m not a huge car buff or anything – I know a little tiny bit about cars, and I know what looks good, and I know what’s expensive. Customization is expensive. So why not just sink all that money into a car that doesn’t suck?

If you happen to be the proud owner of a Honda Civic and it’s actually just a CAR, like you bought the car and maybe bought a thing or two to make it look nicer, but really you know that it’s just a Honda Civic and you bought it because the Accord was too expensive, then you’re exempt from my Civic hatred.

But guys? A pimped-out Honda Civic doesn’t impress me. At all.

It’s like putting dubs and a big ugly spoiler on a Hyundai Excel and then going out and getting a system for it. That’s dumb, and I get to say that because I used to have a Hyundai Excel and I recognize it for what it is – an economical little foreign car.

NOT the car that’s gonna get me laid.

That’s what the Dodge Neon is for.