i’m not country! but i almost hit a wild turkey today.

Today, right after I left my house for work, I saw something HUGE and black in the air. I came around a curve and saw that it was a bigass wild turkey, flying around low in the air. He landed right in front of my car and hauled turkey ass.

It was really weird.

I think it’s really difficult to deny being a bit country when you’re dodging wild turkeys on your way to work.

The wild dogs and cats? Fine. They might hang out in cities. Deer, rabbits, and possums(ick) tend to make appearances in my nighttime driving, but I still deny that I’m country.

There’s this dude, let’s call him Redneck Man, in our neighborhood who has a yard full of junk cars, and he lives in a single-wide piece of shit trailer with half a fence around it, and half of the half-fence is painted. A few years ago, someone else in our neighborhood upgraded to a double-wide, and Redneck Man asked if he could have the built-on porch that used to be on the old single-wide. They said yes, so he hauled this random lean-to down to his trailer and stuck it on the front. So now he lives in a nasty single-wide trailer with the porch of another trailer randomly stuck on the front. Redneck Man also tends to have some mangy hound dogs and skinny horses in his front yard in addition to the random trash and junk cars.

One day my sisters were walking to the bus stop and passed Redneck Man’s house, where he had hung some sort of dead animal (a cow or a deer) from a tree and gutted it. I’m sure that the sight of giant dead gutted animals hanging from trees are just what kids need to start their school days off right.

Anyway, so even living in a neighborhood full of all this crazy shit, I’ve been denying that I’m country.

But now today there was this episode with the turkey.

But guess what? I’m still not country!